The Call To Arms Was Never True
by misswhiteblack
Summary: What made James hate Snape so much? Harry wants to know and Remus is reluctant to tell. R


Grimmauld Place was quiet. Every now and then there was a burst of life as people arrived or left but now it was quiet. That was probably because it was quite late. The silent hush over the house was broken by the noise of someone moving around in the basement kitchen. It was the only place in the house with the lights on. There were two men in the room. One had sandy colored hair with a haggard, tired look and a few scars were visible on his hands and face. He was sitting with a mug of coffee opposite the other man. The other was a young boy no more than seventeen with messy brown hair and almond shaped green eyes that were half hidden behind round spectacles. The eyes held a lot of gravity and suffering in them. Though the most striking thing was the lighting shaped bolt across his forehead which he had had since the age of a year old. These two men were none other than Remus Lupin and Harry Potter. They sat in silence Harry's nose firmly set in a book and Remus just surveying the teenager in front of him. The book Harry was reading was a Potions book which Remus found rather strange as he knew that Potions was hardly Harry's favorite subject and in fact he only ever saw Harry reading Quiditch books or books on Defence Against the Dark Arts. Harry then let out a sigh of exasperation picked up a quill off the table and made a side note in the margin.

'What's wrong Harry?' Remus asked concerned.

Harry glanced up tearing his eyes away from the book. He shrugged not really sure what was wrong. He placed the massive Potions book on the table and set the quill on top of it.

'I'm just thinking about everything. You know about my dad and Sirius. And Snape.'

'Snape?' Remus' eyebrow flicked up in surprise. 'Whatever for?'

'Well after everything that's happened, you know. Reading this book … it was Snape's and I'm just going over all the spells and things he's written in the margins. It's just surreal how intelligent he actually was at Potions. I just don't understand it. He was obviously into Dark Magic and it's obvious from this book. What made Dumbledore trust him? What made Snape want to be a Death Eater? Hermione said something along the lines of Snape being an outsider and being picked on. Do you think my dad maybe sometimes drove him to it? You know like Snape just wanted revenge? I just don't understand what made my dad hate Snape so much.'

Remus eyed the young boy and sighed. At the age of seventeen Harry shouldn't have really been worrying about any of this. In fact even if he was he should have been asking James not him. Yet that never worked out the way they thought it would. James and Lily had been dead sixteen years and Sirius two now it was up to Remus to tell Harry about the past. He was the one meant to recall the stories for him and make him understand what James had been like as a child.

'Harry, I don't think James or Sirius or even I drove Snape to do the things he did. Snape had a bad life before he even came to Hogwarts. From what I have come to understand Snape's dad was a muggle, his mum was a witch and I believe that Snape's dad was a bit of a brute. Snape barely received any mail but he was always sending letters to his mother. I think that was possibly why he liked the Dark Arts so much. They were a way to get back at his dad. As for why your dad hated him so much. That is a long story and I'm not sure if I'm ready to tell you it.'

Harry sat listening to Remus his feet on the chair and his chin on his knees. He sighed.

'Sirius wasn't like that and his parents were awful.'

Harry glanced around. Grimmauld Place was the place Sirius had grown up and anybody could tell how the Sirius' family had lived. The air of darkness hung around the place like a bad smell.

'Yeah but Sirius had your dad and me to change him among … other people. Sirius always thought his parents were a bit over the top and when he came to Hogwarts we were there to change his mind. He liked your mother and didn't see why he couldn't talk to her because she was muggleborn. He was put in Gryffindor and he didn't see why his family should control who he liked and didn't like, who he spoke to and didn't.'

'What do you mean by 'other people'?' asked Harry leaning forward interested. 'And you still haven't told me why my dad hated Snape so much.'

Remus sighed and glanced around. He reached back to the sideboard and picked up a small dish that Harry recognized as a pensive. Harry frowned.

'It'd probably be better if I show you,' said Remus simply placing his wand at his temple and drawing out the long silver strands that were memories. He placed them in the dish and continued with some more. When he finished he looked up at Harry.

'Shall we?' he asked.

Harry nodded and stood up. He made his way round to beside Lupin who grasped his arm. Harry gave him a slight smile before they leaned forward and fell right into the pensive. Everything was dark and as the darkness lifted Harry could see they were in the Great Hall at Hogwarts. It was obviously dinner time as the place was packed with students. Harry immediately routed out his dad sitting at the Gryffindor table Lily on one side and Sirius on the other. The younger Remus Lupin was sitting opposite beside Peter Pettigrew.

'Come on lets get closer,' said Remus. They moved up beside the tables and Harry kept his eye trained on the marauders. His mum and dad were holding hands which meant that they must be in their seventh year. As they got closer he could hear them talking.

'Need to get that Potions essay done for Slughorn,' James was saying chewing thoughtfully on a piece of chicken. Sirius glanced up at him swallowed the bit of sausage he had just bit into and nodded.

'Shouldn't take us too long. I suppose you and Miss Lilykins will be patrolling tonight.'

James nodded.

'That means stay in your bed Sirius,' Lily said looking up from a book that she had been reading. Sirius laughed and Harry smiled. It had been a while since he had heard that laugh. He then glanced at the younger Remus who had leaned across the table.

'Someone is looking for you James.' He nodded in the direction of the door and James whipped round and beamed. Harry also looked up to see a young seventeen year old girl with long brown curls and striking emerald eyes. He eyed the badge on her robes that held the Ravenclaw crest. She saw James and came running over. James got to his feet and picked her up in a massive hug swinging her round so her legs flew out behind her. Remus glanced at Harry beside him whose eyebrows had flicked up upon sight of this very friendly hug.

'Who is that?' Harry asked suspiciously looking at Remus. Remus however didn't answer instead he nodded back to the memory before him.

'All right Jamie,' the girl was saying ruffling up his hair as he set her down.

'Jamie?' whispered Harry under his breath as the girl beamed and hugged Lily.

'You sitting with us today 'Rena?' Lily asked.

'As long as Johnny doesn't want me?' she replied and glanced over at the Ravenclaw table. A boy about the same age as the girl who looked almost identical waved over at her and gave her the thumbs up. The girl turned back round. 'That looks like a yes I will be sitting with you. Frank is over with Johnny.'

Harry looked at the boy at the Ravenclaw table again to see sitting next to him a younger version of Frank Longbottom who was Neville's father. The last and only time Harry had seen him was in St. Mungo's where Frank was with his wife Alice having lost his mind. He glanced back to the table before him just to see the girl slip in between James and Sirius.

Suddenly the scene faded and it went dark again.

'Who was that?' asked Harry.

Remus looked at him.

'If you had read Hogwarts: A History you would know who she is already. Her name is Serena Rosa White, or at least, it was then and she was the smartest witch to be churned out of Hogwarts along with one of the top Quiditch players ever to play for England.'

Another memory then came up in front of them. They were on the Hogwarts Express. Harry and Remus were standing by the window in a carriage. The carriage contained an eleven year old Lily Evans with Sirius Black, James Potter, Remus Lupin and the girl Remus had said was called Serena White. James was sitting with Serena next to him chatting away to Lily and Remus. Serena and Sirius were eyeing each other eyes wary.

'What is going on here?' asked Harry.

'Again if you paid attention in History of Magic you would know that the White family are the long time rivals of the Black family. Hence the tension in the first meeting between Sirius and Serena.'

Just then the door slid open and a familiar greasy haired boy with a long hooked nose put his head in. Everyone in the carriage looked up. The boy seemed shy and asked quietly if he could sit with them.

'Yeah sure,' said Serena beaming politely at the eleven year old Severus Snape who hesitantly sat down beside her. James eyed him with dislike as the boy opened a book and stuck his nose in it. Then the scene faded.

'That would be the first time any of us had met Snape. You could see James' dislike immediately. However it wasn't over. I think Serena was the first person besides his mother to ever be nice to Snape.' Remus shook his head. 'It wasn't something Snape was willing to let slide.'

Another scene came up outside by the lake. The seventeen year old Remus was sitting on a rock nose in a large book on Transfiguration. James was sitting on the grass with Lily between his knees. Peter Pettigrew was throwing stones into the water trying to copy how Sirius made them skim the surface. A voice came from up by the castle. Harry and the elder Remus looked round to see Serena White running down towards them.

'Hey guys,' she called out exhausted. 'The fan club. Just can't get away from them.'

She laughed and Harry frowned.

'Bit full of herself isn't she?' he asked Remus.

Remus laughed.

'She grew up with your dad,' he replied. 'What did you expect?'

Seventeen year old Sirius had stopped skimming stones and made his way up to Serena. James was squinting up at her trying to avoid getting the sun in his eyes.

'Snivellus bothering you again?' he asked a sour look on his face.

'James Potter,' Lily said, 'you know fine well that his name is Severus.'

Serena however laughed as Sirius wrapped his arms round her waist and kissed her soundly on the lips. James shrugged.

'Severus? Snivellus?' said James his eyes laughing. 'Who cares? As long as he isn't bothering Serena then I won't have to hex will I Lily?'

Lily Evans rolled her eyes and looked up at Serena and Sirius.

'Would you two give it a rest?' she said. 'I'll be forced to throw you in the lake.'

They both broke apart laughing obviously amused by the thought of Lily being able to throw them into the lake. The young Remus looked up from his book thoughtfully glancing at Serena.

'James,' he said at length, 'you know you don't have to protect her. She's perfectly capable of hexing Snape on her own. What about that time he tried to curse her and he ended up hanging upside down from the ceiling!'

Harry glanced at the elder Remus.

'So you're trying to say that my dad and the rest of you didn't like Snape because he liked that Serena girl?'

'Well not really that he liked her although anybody who liked Serena had to face the problem of James. He sort of stalked her almost but if she told him to get lost or one of us did, more often James and Sirius did it physically; he tried to curse her, or us. James didn't like him from the start due to the Dark Arts. I suppose it was obvious to us that he was interested in them and Sirius could tell. He lived with that dreaded family so no doubt he could tell someone who was into the Dark Arts.'

The scene faded into darkness and Harry stood thinking. From all the stories Sirius and Remus had ever told him he had never heard of one Serena White. He dully recognized the name from somewhere. He remembered that one of the Weasley's, either Fred or George, had mentioned her when talking about Quiditch only to be told rather hastily to not talk about Quiditch. Maybe it was to stop them talking about her. Why would she have been so important?

'Did my dad … love her?' asked Harry hesitantly to Remus.

'Of course he did,' said Remus then quickly added, 'Not like he loved Lily of course but Serena and James were best friends from the age of two. They lived very close to each other. James was practically Serena's brother. Not that she needed anymore. She had Jonathon her twin, Callum, Dougal and wee Charlie. On top of that she had two sisters Alexis and Lyneta.'

Harry raised an eyebrow. He had grown up an orphan. The only people he knew with such a big family were the Weasley's.

'James and Serena were inseparable. When Sirius and Lily started going out in sixth year,' Harry's eyebrow shot up, 'Serena was the one that got James and Sirius speaking again and she even gave Lily advice on Sirius. She knew us.'

Another scene faded up. They were somewhere that Harry only recognised as a church. It was packed with people some that Harry recognised and some that he didn't. The wedding march was playing and people were turning to face the double oak doors at the back. He turned to Remus.

'Is this my mum and dads wedding?'

Remus shook his head but before he could say anything the doors opened. James Potter walked into the room with the girl Serena clutching onto his arm. She looked beautiful in her white wedding gown with pearl encrusted bodice. The veil was over her face and her hand clutched her boutique nervously. Harry saw Lily Evans behind her looking beautiful in a blue gown. The two women behind her he recognised as Hesita Jones and Emmeline Vance. He then glanced at the alter. There stood Sirius Black dressed smartly in his robes. Harry's mouth dropped open and followed Sirius' gaze to the girl called Serena. She was returning the stare a slight smile on her lips and Harry could she her grip tightened on James' arm.

'She looks beautiful.'

Harry whipped round to see Peter Pettigrew whispering to the younger looking Remus both of whom were standing just slightly behind Sirius both dressed in black robes for the occasion. He then turned back to the elder Remus who was looking at the memory with a fondness in his eyes.

'What the hell? Sirius never mentioned to me that he got married!'

He looked back just as James kissed Serena on the cheek, lowered her veil and gave her hand to Sirius before taking position just behind him.

'Why wouldn't Sirius mention that to me?'

Suddenly the scene faded and they were standing back in the basement kitchen of 12 Grimmauld Place. Harry looked around slightly puzzled and then looked at Remus awaiting an explanation. Remus sighed and sat down heavily. Harry immediately went back to take up his seat and leaned forward across the table in earnest. At first he had been angry. How could Sirius not have told him about this? Now he was just curious. Why hadn't Sirius told him?

'Serena Rosa White,' prompted Harry.

Remus gave a sad sort of smile.

'Serena,' said Remus a fond look in his eye. 'We adored her, James the most obviously. They grew up together from the age of two. They were so close I actually believe that James cried when she was sorted into Ravenclaw. She made us laugh. As smart as she was she was also a scatterbrain. She'd turn up to class having forgotten her books when she had specifically gone to get them. Not that it mattered she always knew exactly what the Professor was talking about. She was brilliant at Defence Against the Dark Arts, excellent at Transfiguration and amazing at Potions, probably another reason Snape liked Serena and hated her. She was just like having another guy around at times.'

Harry looked at Remus with a quizzical eye. He was stalling. He was doing what they called 'beating around the bush'. Harry wished he would just tell him what happened to Serena. Why didn't Harry know she even existed?

'Is she dead?' he asked abruptly.

Remus looked surprised but then shook his head a sad sort of smile on his mouth.

'Then what happened to her?'

Remus sighed heavily. It really should have been Sirius telling Harry these stories. Not that the stories should exist at all but still. If Harry had wanted to know about Serena then it should have been Sirius telling him.

'Sirius proposed to Serena in their seventh year of Hogwarts, at the top of the marble staircase. Nobody told James for the first couple of weeks. I think Serena was worried. James was so protective over her and he knew exactly what Sirius was like, new girlfriend every two weeks. Girls use to push him up against walls between classes hoping his hormones would kick in and he'd snog them senseless. It happened to James too of course so he knew what it was like. Turned out that James thought it was great and in fact had been urging Sirius to ask Serena out ever since he found out that Sirius liked her in that way. In the end they got married two weeks before your parents and a year later you were born. A month after that Kerr was born.'

'Who in the hell is Kerr?' asked Harry eyebrows shooting up so high they almost got lost in his hairline.

'Kerrys Lily Alexis White Black. If everything that happened hadn't of happened then the two of you would have been raised as practically brother and sister as close as your parents were before you. Kerr is Sirius' only daughter. It was so strange. You look so like James with Lily's eyes and Kerr looks exactly like Sirius with Serena's eyes. Scary really.'

'I never even heard of her,' stated Harry angrily. 'I'm sure I would have noticed her around Hogwarts.'

Remus sighed. This was getting complicated. Too complicated for his liking anyway.

'Kerr doesn't go to Hogwarts. Under the name Kerrys Grey she attends Dunthworpe Academy for Advanced Potential Magic. As the daughter of Serena White she was immediately accepted.'

'Why doesn't she go to Hogwarts?'

'When you found out about Sirius you thought he'd murdered your parents,' said Remus. 'Imagine knowing that, with those feelings, his daughter was sitting next to you or in the same class as you. Serena wouldn't let that happen. James had been around for nearly all of Serena's life. I don't think she has one childhood memory that doesn't have James in it. She wasn't going to destroy her daughter's childhood by the lies told about your parents and Sirius.'

Harry nodded slightly. He could kind of understand.

'Then when you and Kerr were a year old Voldemort murdered James and Lily. Everyone, including me, thought Sirius had betrayed them. Serena was devastated. She knew the truth but everyone had been so suspicious knowing that there was a traitor that Sirius seemed the obvious one to blame. He had said he would be the secret keeper. Serena came for my help but to no avail. I feel so ashamed for the way I treated her. I just thought of her as a little girl caught up in some fantasy world. I didn't even stop to consider that she had known James longer than any of us. She couldn't stop crying. It was all she did. Now I look at my behavior and I feel so ashamed for it. She went to the ministry alone to fight his case and as a result she nearly got carted of to St. Mungo's for being mentally disturbed. Merlin knows what would have happened to Kerr. She fled the country and for the last sixteen years has been deluding the Ministry into believing she is in America. I was supposed to look after her. Sirius had asked that of me. If anything ever happened to him or James I was suppose to look after his family. I never did that. Serena couldn't bear to be near me knowing that I thought Sirius had betrayed James and Lily.'

Remus fell quiet and Harry looked rather worried.

'Does she know? About Sirius?'

'Yes,' Remus replied sadly. 'I went with Dumbledore to break the news to her. I didn't think her eyes could get more haunted than they already were but I was wrong. She barely coped the first time they took him from her and now I think it's slowly destroying her. Kerr was the only thing that kept her going last time but now Kerr is all grown up.'

They sat in silence Harry trying to process the amount of information that he had just received and Remus thinking about everything that happened. It had been a turbulent time for them all after leaving Hogwarts. It had been too much.

'So why didn't Sirius tell me about her?'

'Sirius believed that he destroyed Serena's life. She will never be the same person and he felt he was to blame for that. His arrogance in presuming that Voldemort would have come after him rather than Peter led to the deaths of James and Lily. Serena felt the loss more than anyone. In one night she lost her brother, her best friend, her husband, her family, her life, her pride and she nearly lost Kerr as well. On top of all that she lost you and broke her last and final promise to James. You have no idea what that promise meant to Serena. That girl would have died to keep your parents alive. She would have gone through torture for you, James, Lily, Kerr and Sirius. If she could have saved you she would have. She pleaded and begged with Dumbledore to let her have you. To raise you knowing who you were and who you're parents had been. She wanted you to know the real story and live like you should have lived but it was no use. You were placed with the Dursley's and Serena disappeared until two years ago.'

'She's back?' asked Harry sitting bolt upright. Gosh his head was spinning with all the information that was going on in the back of his head. 'Where has she been? Is she close? Can I meet her?'

'Merlin,' Remus laughed slightly, 'one question at a time. Serena has been living in Scotland and in fact when Sirius escaped he stayed with her a few times. She is currently packing up her home in Scotland and preparing to move back down here sometime this week. Kerr is being transferred to Hogwarts for your seventh year and I do suppose you will meet her at one point. She is a member of the Order of the Phoenix after all.'

Remus sighed, a sad look in his eyes.

'It's not the same though. She isn't the same. I could tell you stories about her that make her sound invincible like nothing could ever get her down, could ever make her sad but Sirius. He was her downfall and Sirius blamed himself for that. She loved him so much, so bad and so hard that it destroyed her when he was taken away from her. She is a woman so in love with him that without him half of her is missing and it makes me sad. It was Serena who told James when Sirius sent Snape down the Whomping Willow after me. None of us spoke to Sirius for days. James was furious, I was devastated and Peter was angry about it too I suppose. Serena spoke to him though but made him feel worse than any of us not talking to him did. I wonder sometimes if she knows how much he loved her, if sometimes she doesn't wonder did he really love me as much as I love him? I have seen him. I have seen him write letters, I have seen him cry tears and I have seen him clutch his only possession as though he would never let it go, a photograph of Serena, himself and Kerr, his family. It comforts me to know that she does know that he loved her.'

Harry felt sort of overwhelmed. He knew there was something behind Sirius' eyes when he looked at him but he had thought that maybe it was just something to do with Azkaban and everything that had happened to his parents. Little did he suspect that Sirius had lost so much more than just Lily and James that night.

'Sometimes I think that James can see her, his beloved sister and all her pain and I know that he wouldn't want her to go through that. I know James would blame himself just like Sirius did. I blame myself for not having listened to her and for not taking care of her when she needed it the most.'

'Remus it isn't your fault,' came a soft quiet voice.

Harry looked up sharply and Remus whipped round to look at the door. Standing there the door slightly ajar was a woman. She had long brown curls and piercing emerald eyes just like in Remus' memories except she was older and her eyes were no longer carefree but etched with pain and sorrow. Remus got to his feet and Harry shut his mouth realizing it was open. He couldn't believe it. There she was. Sirius' wife.

'I feel like it was,' Remus replied as he got closer to her. 'I'm sorry Serena.'

Serena Rosa White Black was a least an inch taller than Remus. She gave him a sad sort of smile.

'It's not your fault or James' fault or Sirius' fault,' she said. 'It just happened and there is nothing I can do to change it. We'll all blame ourselves. I blame myself for not being secret keeper but I can't change it by blaming myself.'

She smiled and then Remus pulled her into a hug over his shoulder she caught sight of Harry and warmth glowed her eyes. Harry was puzzled for a moment and then realised. I Look like him and this is the first time she's seen me since I was a year old. Then they broke apart.

'Hello Harry.'


End file.
